Update.

I was originally going to post some more from the Kayla Diaries today, but I felt as though a lot of what I had to say was personal, not only about myself but about some of the people I have chosen to write about. 
So instead I decided to give you guys a short (hopefully) update on how my life has been going here in Florida. 
Frankly, I think I make it seem a lot worse than it actually is. As I have said hundreds of times before I don't love it here, but getting through this is something I absolutely have to do. 
I have received my 10th and 11th four keys fanatic cards now. So there that! 
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and for some reason I keep have anxiety/panic attacks frequently. The majority of which take place at work, which is no surprise to me.
But I wanna share my most recent magical moment. This little girl and her dad came up to the registers with the items they were planning the purchase and right away she stole the show. She made the sound effect of clearing her throat, and said "Excuse me?" And I smiled and said "Yes, princess?" she giggled and said "Look at my swim suit!" and then proceeded to do a mini runway show, to show off her wonderful Ariel swim wear. She came back over picked up one of our lollipop sets threw her hand on her hip and said "Daddy, we need this." he laughed and continued to talk to the cast member ringing him up. I got out of these little character cards we give out and I got down on the floor with her and said "Princess, Mickey wanted me to make sure you got this." She took it and asked what it said, so I read it to her ("Hey Pal! I hope you have a Magical Celebration! Your pal, Mickey Mouse) and she got so excited she screamed and hugged it and then hugged me.

It's moments like those that make me realize not everything here is awful. It's moments like those  that I forget the level of stress I have placed on myself. 

Last night I got asked if I was "Happy here." and of course my general response to that question was no. And then it was rephrased "You're not happy at All Star or you're not happy here at the program." 
I was kind of taken back by this. I do love my All Star family. We all know I am not happy with the program and how it is turning out. But I never entirely blamed my work location, and I don't know if I can. After being deployed to another resort I had a whole new level of respect for my resort. So I think I am happy at All Star. I just think I am unhappy in general. Which is feeding in to my stress. And having those people at work that I absolutely dread seeing is also feeding into my stress and anxiety as well. 
So there's that. 

So that's all for right now. 
Have a magical day.