My Life After Disney.

I know I did an update back in March, after being home for two months, but now its August (Actually it's almost September..) and I felt I owed it too those of you that followed me to update you on my life. So what's life like after Disney you may ask, let's see;
1.) You search for 'Disney magic' in every thing you do. You will find a surprising lack up it, specifically in Upstate New York.

2.) You get really excited, and almost teary eyed, every time you meet a fellow "Disney junkie." Someone who not only understands, but also supports your Disney Obsession.

3.) You get enraged every time you hear someone talking about Disney in a know-it-all tone of voice, and being violently upset when the facts they are telling people are beyond untrue.

4.) The amount of people that will ask you "While why are you here if you worked at Disney World" will make you ill, and also become a EVERY annoying task you must complete on a weekly basis.

5.) You swear on those final days of your program that the friends you made there will hear from you on a daily basis, and sometimes that won't happen. Face it, once you are home you have to go back to your day to day life, and you won't always have time for hour long Facetime calls with your Roommates and friends.

6.) You will ask yourself every single day what it will take to get back to Disney, and constantly trying to figure out how you can get there sooner.

You ask what life is like after Disney, it's simply the life you left behind when you went away. Sometimes it seems better OR worse than you left it. Sometimes you switch jobs and still find yourself wondering what your former CM friends are doing at your old location right now...because chances are it's five times more exciting than the Pizza you are serving, or the clothes you are selling.
Some people return to college, some don't.
Some stay in Florida and work for the most magical company.
Some people move home sadly to realize they will be moving back within a few months.

It's life, and it still revolves around Disney.

Exciting/terrifying news

So as most of you know I've been back in New York for a little over two months now. Along with that has come a lot of ups and downs, a lot of decisions have been made for my future...which wasn't the easiest things for me to do. 
First off, I am changing my major. Eeeeek! From Zoology to hospitality and management. A lot of people keep asking me why...Well Disney should be that I am actually really good with people, and my job there was perfect for me. (of course I didn't realize that until I came home.) 
I start back at school this fall with my new major, and even if I don't finish next May like I was supposed I will continue my schooling from either online or from a college in Florida. 

That's right! I have decided that I am going to be applying for a second Disney College Program, and if all goes well and I get in I will be going back to Florida! Where I will hopefully finish my schooling and make a life for myself! 

So for the next year my life is going to revolve around getting ready to go back! and better myself this time before I get down there! 

Keep you updated! 

What Disney doesn't tell you

Hello humans. This is going to be a brief blog recapping all the things Disney didn't tell us.


What Disney doesn't tell you:

• You'll have some pretty amazing adventures, with equally amazing people.
• They will become your family, quickly.
• You will share a love/hate relationship with your fellow work CMs, You will always love them, but that doesn't mean you always like them. 
• You will be broke, not some of the time, all the of time. You wanna buy food? Good things there is a dollar store a short walk from vista. Save money before you go.
• The roaches (Yes, all the apartments in every complex have them) are twice the size of your head, on a good day. On a bad day, they can measure up to the size of a small dog/large cat. 
• The roaches also fly, and in the summer they swarm. (Have fun.) 
• If you live on the 3rd floor (I guess the 2nd floor is badish too) have fun breaking your back every time you need to bring laundry up or down, or even bring groceries in. 
• If you live at Patterson Court have fun walking to the bus stop at Chatham everyday. Especially with your groceries. 
• Don't take the Transtar buses...Remember when Disney said they were 'safe and reliable' ... they lied. 
• But most importantly, what they don't tell you is; you are going to make life long friendships, and you are going to make them really fast, bonding through the struggles you all face...and then one day, and one day soon, you are going to have to say goodbye....and it's going to break your heart.

The Disney College Program is amazing in a lot of way, and I wish I had known going into it what my life would be like after it. Some mornings I wake up more homesick for that place than I ever was for coming home to New York. Disney is still such a major part of my every day life, and my little Disney family is as well. I can't thank them enough for helping me through some of the hardest moments of my life while I was down there. I wasn't ready to say goodbye, and when it came to the end of my program it came up all to fast. I spent days crying, thinking about how my goodbyes to each person would be...would I say everything I wanted to say before the last time I would see them for a while ?

If you asked me in December if I would do the DCP again I would tell you a flat no. If you ask me now? I would, I am actually considering for applying for fall 2016 and going back down with my previous roommate Ashley. Nothings set in stone, and it's just a thought right now. But I have never felt like I belong in New York, and since returning home, I feel like I belong here less and less.

My last week

Okay, so I got so busy my last week with the crazy shifts I was working and trying to pack that I didn't get to do what I had planned. So now, almost two weeks later I am writing my 'my last week' post. I did however manage to get my 'It's over post' up there so check it out ( It's over.  ). 

My mood the last week of the program varied from: crying so hard I couldn't breathe- to- having a mental break down- to - laughing so hard I couldn't breathe-to- not speaking. 

I was kind of a hot mess that last week, I gave several people several reasons not to like me, because the stress really had gotten to me. 

(real life photo of me. ) 

I was a mess of emotions, it didn't help that I was getting up at 3a.m. every day, and not getting to sleep until 10 or 11 every night. I was burn out and it was showing. 

The night before I moved out of the apartment was the worst. I cried a lot, almost non-stop because I knew I'd be leaving all my friends the next day to go to All-Star Music to meet up with my family. I was so confused, I was so upset, and so excited in the same breath and it didn't make any sense. 

 When it came to actually leaving my apartment my hardest goodbye was to Ashley. Of course, we had been the closest all program, leaving was no joke. But when I actually walked out of the apartment and left this is how I felt. 

I didn't actually pack anything correctly until I met up with my mom at the resort because she had my other suitcase. So I just kind of shoved everything in the suitcases and said see ya. 

Then when I got to the resort after a failed attempt at surprising my mom I was like this for a long time that night: 

there's going to be a different blog on my family's trip soon! 

PDCPD

PDCPD more commonly known as: Post Disney College Program Depression.

It exists. It's real. When I thought about going to Disney I said so many times "I'm not going to want to come back to this frozen hell. I am going to extend my program and stay." When I got to Disney after the initial magic wore off all I could say was "I can't wait to go home." Now we are nearing the end of my program, where at this point I have or had said hundreds of times 'I can't wait to go home.' something had changed though. I quickly found myself saying 'I'm not ready to go home." 

I struggled a lot in this program, and a lot of people were betting against me saying I would give up and come home. I wanted too, so I guess you guys were right there. But I didn't. I didn't give up, I dealt with the crap hand I had been dealt there and lived with it. My program started getting really REALLY good towards the end. I had finally started coming into my own. 

As silly as it sounds it's because I started living for me there, and not caring who my choices effected unless they effected me. It's something I had never done before, I've always looked out for everyone around me and something broke in my one day and I said no. No, I wasn't going to be the only one cleaning the apartment. No, I wasn't going to lose sleep because everyone else wanted to stay up all night with their friends. No, I wasn't going to share what little food I had with everyone because they were wasting their money on stupid things. I was done. 
When I finally realized I had to live for me, my program took a turn for the better, and I remembered why I was there. Then in the blink of an eye it was coming to end. Soon it would be over, and I would have to go back to living my old life in the snowy north. I think that scared me. Coming home, going back to the way everything was, or maybe it didn't and I just wasn't ready to give up the life I made for myself there. 

Still, I was really excited to come home and to see my family, friends, and pets. I just finished unpacked two days ago, and I have been home for six days. I was in good spirits all day the first day I was home I unpacked some, went to visit some people, and cleaned my rooms. Day two: I didn't want to get out of my bed, I was content with not moving. 
I was thinking about all the things I could be doing if it was my day off back in WDW, and it killed me. Because I can't just wake up and say "I'm going to Magic Kingdom today." It broke my heart. Those parks were where I would go by myself to clear my head and just escape, because I couldn't go anywhere else. Where do I escape to here? A snowbank ? 

I miss everything about Florida. But I couldn't have stayed, I needed to come home it was time. I can go back, someday. I probably will go back, just not right now. I need some time to reinvent myself, and figure out what I want to do with my life. Suggestions are accepted. 

Article on PDCPD

Post Disney: First week home.

Well, I'm sure some people would be over joyed if I said I was enjoying my first week at home. Don't get me wrong, I am plenty happy to be back in New York, although I do wish it wasn't during the coldest part of the year...Actually, I don't even mind the cold (I just don't like to be cold), I mind the snow. If there was no snow on the ground I would be ecstatic to be home.

None the less, I am happy to be out of Orlando for the time being. I thought people asked me a lot while I was down there if I would ever come back, or why I wasn't staying...but here, here every person I have seen since I've been home has asked me why I didn't stay in Orlando, or when I was going back. Geez, I haven't even been home a full week.
I can honestly tell you this much though, I am literally heart broken by how much I miss all my friends that I made throughout the program.

Don't ever do this Disney College Program: It's a trick to bring to this point of no return where you will make friends so quickly and get close to fast then in a few months they will rip you apart as you get ready to go home. It's the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done in my entire life.

Alright, so like I said I am now back in New York, and I start back at my normal job in just a couple of days. I'm getting back into the swing of things, driving around, and of course getting used to the cold and the snow.
Since I left I have noticed a few things about myself:
*I missed my bed more than anything else in the entire world, or so it seems right now.
*None of my winter clothes fit me right
*I still remember how to drive in the snow.

My worst fear was realized as my dog ran to greet everyone else and had no idea who I was so stood barking at me and avoiding me for a good 10 minutes, he however was really excited to see me when he finally realized who I was.

I will be doing a blog on my final week in the program, and my family's trip to Disney World too! Although I didn't film anything at all during those times, too much going on, so I will limit it to photos on here.

It's over...

I'll look back at this and smile because 

it was LIFE and I decided to Live it.

Side-note: I should be packing the rest of my stuff right now, but my roommate is still asleep....so later.

Wow, so my Disney College Program is officially completed. I have clocked out for the last time...I turn in all my costumes tonight, and move out of my apartment as well. 

I'm not going to lie though, this is really bittersweet...because as much as I begged and pleaded to leave this program....when it finally started to get good, it got really good. I am so attached to so many people I have met down here and I honestly don't know what I would have done without them. 

I am so proud that I can say I made a choice to apply for the program, got accepted, and on a whim picked up my life in New York and moved it to Florida for 8 months. Not a lot of people would do that alone, a lot of the people down here had friends that were coming or family that lives close...so they weren't alone. 

But I was alone. It was a huge change for me. 

My leader asked me today "Are you coming back?" I could have answered that three different ways three different times: 

Before the program started: I am going to extend, then go back to school, then reapply. 

During my program: No way in hell. Not as part-time, not as full-time, and never as a cp again.

Now: Maybe as part time or full time, but I wouldn't ever do the college program again. I worked to damn hard to get treated the way I did by the full timers because they looked down on me. Because I wasn't 'going to be here long' they treated me like they already knew I wouldn't care about this program. They were wrong. I love this program, I loved my leaders, and a lot of my fellow cast members too. 

The lesson? You cannot judge me just because you think I am young and naive. I am very much capable of proving you wrong,

Tonight, my mom gets here! as well at my sister, step dad, and best friend. I get to show them the world I have been living in for the past 8 months, and I am so excited to be able to share this magic with them!