Rough night.

I'm going to be really honest with you guys right now, I had an absolutely terrifiying bad mental break down last night. To the point where I burst into tears as soon as I clocked out of work and it just didn't stop until I got home and sobbed into my pillow/blanket for a good 20-25 minutes. I don't know what set me off, I don't really care at this point. All  I wanted to do was find a way to get myself home last night even if it was for a short time. Some great family members talked me out of that, knowing that if I went home it would monumentally harder for me to get back on a plane and come back here. 

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I'm hoping it's just a small hiccup in my life right now. I hate feeling like this, and I know that there's nothing I can really do about it. I know that sometimes my blogs can give mixed signals about how I feel about this program, but like the famous saying "some days are good, and other are bad." that's what it's like to be down here. 

Some days are Magical. 
Some days are normal and boring
Some days are bad 

There's three ways a day can end here, and lately I am having a lot more of the bad than I am the good. 
I thought I would never "I miss All Star" but having worked at The Boardwalk for the past four days I have found myself saying "I miss All Star" Over and over and over again. It's not because of the people, actually everyone that works at Boardwalk is really really nice. It's the area, we just entered slow season and Boardwalk is a deluxe resort, where the Vacation Cub members stay, so it's been slow. Ungodly slow, which I am not used to because All Star is general very fast paced. Even since we have entered the slow season, there are sporting events, and conventions happening so those people all end up staying at the All Stars. 
The Boardwalk Costume is another issue I have with working there, for the last 3 months I have worked in a location where I get to wear pants and sneakers. Now that I am here I have to wear Ballet flats, tights, and a skirt. I don't know if you guys know how hot it is in Florida, but let me tell you wearing tights in Florida SUCKS. 
I guess it also doesn't help that for the last 4 weeks I have been overworked with only one days off a week. 


Good news though, next week I am back at All Star, and I get two days off...WHAT?! Is it Christmas? 

One thing I am not excited about going back to at All Star is All Star Music, the Food Court there is shut down from now until September due to refurbishments. So in the specific locations it's just as slow, if not slower, than at the Boardwalk. But there is a silver lining , at least I am wearing sneakers and pants. 

I know that this blog is longer than my usual post, but I felt I needed to explain myself and my actions lately. I don't want anyone to think that they shouldn't do this program because sometimes some of us have bad nights. This program is a dream come true and sometimes I forget that myself. 

When deciding to do this program I wouldn't let anyone else;s opinion interfere with my choice to come here, I wanted this decision to be mine, and mine alone. So that way if I did choose that I couldn't do it, that I didn't want to stay, then the only person I was letting down was me. Because I don't want to let anyone down, at least if it's myself I could always try something else. 

The answer is: No, I am not quitting the program and going home. I am sticking it out until January because that's what I want to do. As much as I wanna go home sometimes I know that I can't. 

I hope you guys have a magical day.